Wove Rainbows At Tuesday, April 18, 2006

at the end of the day..
when i face the wall..
alone with fear..
pressed and pushed..
i noe tt i need You..
like the sky to the birds..
You are to me..
my all in all..
when the heart tears..
when love wears out..
when no one is arnd..
in the stillness of the night..
facing the computor..
staring at the handphone..
its You i live for..
in the midst of everything,
You are there..
everything is changing..
so much unstability..
wat happens tml is anyone's guess..
its gd to noe tt You're my anchor..
tt my ship is parked at the right dock..
despair sucking like a vacuum...
overaged and with a reputation at stake..
a game of tug-of-war You played..
wat can i offer You tt You do not have?
why do You clothe the beggers?
and feed the strangers?
wat abt the bloody wounds of the ungrateful You bathed?
rmb the cursing fatherless daughter?
why did You follow her for 17 yrs?
why don't You care for the other 3999999999999999999999999999999999999999 people in the world instead?
y Lord?
i don't understand..
the knife i refuse to give up..
stabbbing You from time to time..
why still hug when u noe tt there's a knife at the side?
don't You noe tt its sharp and can cut?
why, its a choice tt You made b4 i was even born..
to love and call me Your own..
to which i'm forever grateful..
a heirloom given which i'll wear till the day i die..

Wove Rainbows At Tuesday, April 11, 2006

man!!!
i'm sure glad to be hme!!
for the past 1 month plus,
its been out for me!
out meeting pple, out catching up, out shopping, out POSing..
tired..realli tired..
i seriously prefer school term compared to hols!
well, not long more to go!
sip is officially starting on the 17th for me!
kindda excited..
dun realli noe wat to expect but..
definately, i'll get 2 learn alot of tings!


there has been a rather heavy spirit hanging arnd me dis period of tym..
God, i need peace......


why does it seem so hard?
why do i seem so weak?
i yearn control..
yet at the same tym, i'm afraid of screwing up..
above all unstability,
i need You!

Wove Rainbows At Thursday, April 06, 2006

was feeling quite rotten when the fone rang..
seeing the oh-so-familiar name flash and jump on the screen,
i grimaced, pressed the ans button and.......


me: hello, wo gai chi zhai gen ni jiang hua hao mah?
XX: orh..wo zhi dao ni hen mang..ying wei ni bu ke nen hui zhe yang gen wo jiang de..
me: fakes a laugh..i'm getting gd at doing dis.
XX: orh..na bu yong jing...etc etc..
.
.
.
gosh..
i must have unknowingly carried a banner tt reads, "call me whenever you're bored. i do entertainment and i'll waste tym wif u."
if its once a day, i'll set aside tym for u..
but twice or thrice a day is called trespassing..
trepassing on mi personal space!
i nid some air to breathe..
some tym for myself..
like everyone, i onli haf 24hrs..
pls, respect mi time and dun abuse it..

Wove Rainbows At Tuesday, April 04, 2006

re-read mi previous entry..
so emo!
haha! =X
but it sure feels gd to look back and noe tt we've conquered n walked thru e valley together..

its nt half tt bad...


right now, i'm learning how to tk tings easy..
learning how to let tings go..
learning how to enjoy pple more..
and yes, learning how to cultivate a Father-daughter relationship wif Him..
its not as easy as i had thought it to be..
after all, He is way higher and bigger and more in charge den i cld ever be..
how is dis relationship possible?
by love, thru love, its all abt love..
got it dad...
cheers!


been tinking abt personal space alot..
wat is personal space?
its a line which u stand behind..
its the perimeter which you've set instinctively to protect urself..
so wat happens when someone crosses dis perimeter and intrudes ur personal space?
why, frustration, discomfort and maybe even hurt and anger for some..
but why do so mani pple unknowingly cross these lines?
lack of sensitivity? maybe..
selfishness? could be...
or wat abt lack of respect? hmm..worth pondering...

so how shd the trespasses be punished?
maybe they shd be given the cold treatment?
or lash out and start whipping them..
hmmm....interesting.....
now, wat wld u do?

u noe wat i'll do?
i'll tk up mi chicken soup for the Christian soul and start reading...
ahh...brilliant xu!
tts jux wat i'm going to do now...
*poof*

Wove Rainbows At Sunday, April 02, 2006